vampyregirl

I started choking on midnight a few days ago. "MENSONGE À MINUIT" The dirt you piled into my doorway isn't ready to go down into the ground just yet. There's unfinished business here, my Love. And after searching for so long, I have found it! I discovered the meaning of your life, and it was hiding in the bottom of a whiskey bottle! (What an obvious place.) My six friends are not far behind. And no one believes the media for this certain trial. With nothing left to be said- I have washed my hands of this ordeal.

So this is how it feels to be betrayed? An acute pain inbetween my eyes? (Or should it be more like the knocking of a door?) "Pay no attention to me." I've been alone for a long time. Somewhere, you died inside of me and forgot to give me the two-weeks notice. I wasted life on you, you know. I wasted breath. I let myself get carried away in all of the things your heart beat out. Foolish. This will be dismissed as nothing more than your moral failure. I apologize for not telling you this to your face, but it gets to be difficult when you're too much of a coward to pick up the phone. Does anything feel different now that you're gone

I've missed nights like this. The cool wind in my hair, your face against my cheek, and US laying on the ground. Nothing stopped except for my resentment of petty things. I was in  l o v e . What happened there? What happened to the times when I wanted to entwine myself in you and die there? (I could've been happy forever.) What did we do wrong? I don't really think I know. All I DO know is that I'm tired of being alone. I just wish that I could erase those harsh words and those blank stares... Then maybe I could stay there with you again. The laughing fits when my hair got caught inbetween our mouths when we kissed. Our han

Should I? Part of me just wants to erase you from my life. Blot out your name like a rainstorm in July. I want to wash you away. Now, you need to understand that I'm not saying that I hate you. Quite the opposite, in fact. I love you. I want to get caught up in you and smell your scent and bury my face in your neck and stay there forever. I wouldn't mind if you crushed me again. (Really, I wouldn't.) Yet there's something inside of me that knows that it isn't a bright idea. Despite the times when I wake up at half past three in the morning, crying because I dreamed of you...I know I need to let you go. (Can I call it letting go if you're th

Oh, please ignore this. I really never wanted to see you like that. Did you ever think that this was my GOAL? To watch you clutch your chest and scratch out your eyes? Oh, Love...please say it isn't so. Stop sending me letters, Stop shooting me looks. I'm so fucking tired of my time ill-spent. So let's end this once and for all. Either you go or stay on for the work. I can't take another phonecall. I don't know if you'll be able to stomach the hospital this time. Can you?

IT'S JUST AMAZING How much you can forget in a period of weeks. Not exactly wanting to forget- (Or do you?) I doubt you want to pay attention to this anymore. I feel like dumping paint all over this fucking town So maybe I can forget about the different emotions That you keep bitching about Here's my subtle hint- I DON'T FUCKING CARE (Was that good enough for you?) I'm not exactly intent on making a masterpiece Because you've filled me up with nothing but shit. I'm far past being angry- I'm just praying that I can forgive you someday. "How can I say I love you back? You never made me happy." IT'S MY FUCKING MASTERPIECE And